Day 8: This was ok. Pain was a little higher than the previous day. Anna led the session.
Day 9: Today really hurt for some reason. Also I was sleepy, and kept on nodding off between sessions. Bradley was my leader today. So I’m so depressed and gloomy I can’t be optimistic, but I figure I can be grateful and fake cheer. Today this led to me grinning before every shock. I don;t even know sometimes.
I met with Dr. Ellis monday. She tried to be emphatic that even if TMS doesn’t work, it’s not the last option. Sigh. She also wants to increase my Lamictal but wanted to check with Dr. Packer. I also met with Hope yesterday.
I’m just so tired of feeling this way. I miss the old me.
Email to Hope this evening:
So today I get a certified letter from (former employer), saying my COBRA ended on March 25. First of all, I freaking contacted them about this issue in March. Secondly, Insurance has been approving stuff for the past month.
I contacted the TMS office (Lizzie), they’re contacting insurance, but for the moment I’m not going per their recommendation.
So I’d been debating what to do about work. I didn’t really want to go wait tables after having banging in my ears, plus the times of my TMS treatments varies, so like I couldn’t get it at 4 then work at 5pm. So I’m working one weekend day. I emailed HR and they required a letter from a medical professional. I had Hope send it. I found out today it was approved! W00t! So that is a load off my mind (I haven;t been there long enough for FMLA)
So the landline rings this morning and it’s Lizzie from the TMS clinic. I was approved and she was calling to schedule a start date. We schedule May 1, then she called back an hour later with a cancellation: so I start on Tuesday. I am terrified, excited, and a mess,
I had finally decided what to do about work, which is/was cemented by my session times being all over the place. I’m asking them to let me work Sundays because of a “medical treatment.” Hopefully it will be ok.
I emailed Hope and asked her to speak with the doctors at the TMS clinic.
Email to Hope: March 31
So today I met with Dr, Packer, who is the psychiatrist. He took a brief history of my depression, assured that I have had non depressed times. He took a Hamilton depression inventory (apparently if I’m approved I’ll give myself a Beck weekly). He did mention only 50% of patients are helped.
I also volunteered for a study that measures brain plasticity.