Day 8: This was ok. Pain was a little higher than the previous day. Anna led the session.
Day 9: Today really hurt for some reason. Also I was sleepy, and kept on nodding off between sessions. Bradley was my leader today. So I’m so depressed and gloomy I can’t be optimistic, but I figure I can be grateful and fake cheer. Today this led to me grinning before every shock. I don;t even know sometimes.
I met with Dr. Ellis monday. She tried to be emphatic that even if TMS doesn’t work, it’s not the last option. Sigh. She also wants to increase my Lamictal but wanted to check with Dr. Packer. I also met with Hope yesterday.
I’m just so tired of feeling this way. I miss the old me.
I was finally able to go back for my TMS treatment today. Bradley administered it. It was a mixed bag: it hurt, I sneezed a lot and my eyes watered. I also bit my tongue my accident. However, drinking Gatorade beforehand seems to have helped the headache, so that’s good. Also, I got my pixie cut trimmed even closer than usual, and it helped with the hair pulling.
Book of the Session: Juliet Takes a Breath by Gabby Rivera.
I hated today’s session. Today’s technician, Bradley, warned me that it might be worse because I’d had a few days off from the treatment. It was. I was able to use my own earplugs: apparently the noise reduction rating of 30 is what they aim for in noise reduction at the clinic. I also tried a saline nose spray before, and my nose ran whilst my eye was watering.
I asked Bradley about rebound headaches and he said it would be likely. Fucking awesome. SO THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? Maybe it’ll get better. I hope Dr Baer sees me this week so I can ask him about it.
See all of my TMS experience posts.
Book of the Session: I’m almost done with Chemistry by C.L Lynch.