TMS Experience: Days 13 and 14

Day 13:  Anna was my tech.  It hurt, since I had had 3 days off.   No sneezing, though.  I asked Anna if I should be concerned about the fact I was menustrating and she said just to watch for mood swings and irritability….k.

Day 14:  New Tech,  Kylie.  She was nice.  More interactive than some.  It still hurts.  She reminded me I’m still in the early phase.   ‘

No change in mood.  Becoming frustrated.  Also noticing a new intrusive thought convinced I’m losing my hearing.  And an increase in Dermatillomania.  It’s usually a thing that happens only when I’m at the end of my rope.

Books of the Session:  No One is Coming to Save Us and The Wages of Sin.

See all of my TMS experience posts.

My TMS Experience Days 8 & 9, also MD appointments

Day 8:  This was ok.  Pain was a little higher than the previous day.  Anna led the session.

Day 9:  Today really hurt for some reason.  Also I was sleepy, and kept on nodding off between sessions.  Bradley was my leader today.  So I’m so depressed and gloomy I can’t be optimistic, but I figure I can be grateful and fake cheer.  Today this led to me grinning before every shock.  I don;t even know sometimes.

I met with Dr. Ellis monday.  She tried to be emphatic that even if TMS doesn’t work, it’s not the last option.  Sigh.  She also wants to increase my Lamictal but wanted to check with Dr. Packer.  I also met with Hope yesterday.

I’m just so tired of feeling this way.  I miss the old me.

My TMS Experience: Day 7 (Day 1?)

I was finally able to go back for my TMS treatment today.  Bradley administered it.  It was a mixed bag:  it hurt, I sneezed a lot and my eyes watered.  I also bit my tongue my accident.  However, drinking Gatorade beforehand seems to have helped the headache, so that’s good.  Also, I got my pixie cut trimmed even closer than usual, and it helped with the hair pulling.

Book of the Session:  Juliet Takes a Breath by Gabby Rivera.

 

 

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

pexels-photo-25293Email to Hope this evening:

So today I get a certified letter from (former employer), saying my COBRA ended on March 25.  First of all, I freaking contacted them about this issue in March.  Secondly, Insurance has been approving stuff for the past month.  

I contacted the TMS office (Lizzie), they’re contacting insurance, but for the moment I’m not going per their recommendation.
Ugh,

TMS in the News: Passion Pit lead singer livestreams his TMS treatment

Lead singer of the indie band Passion Pit, Michael Angelakos, recently livestreamed a TMS session on Facebook.  He has been open about his diagnosis of bipolar disorder, which his TMS treatment aims to treat. Angelakos, also admits to ongoing suicidal thoughts.

Personally, I think it’s great that he is being so visible about the less pretty parts of mental illness.  It’s a shame that the Facebook live video has been taken down, as seeing the procedure was a great motivator in my decision to get TMS and also to keep me feeling like I was doing the right thing signing up for it.

See all TMS in the News stories here.

Sources linked to in the TMS in the News series are not endorsements.

My TMS Experience: Day 6

Today I met with Dr Baer before the treatment.  I asked about rebound headaches.  He agreed they were a concern.  He suggested ibuprofen* before a treatment, and also gatorade for hydration.  I mentioned my feelings on TMS, namely that I hate it.  He said that people don;t see results until two or three weeks.  So basically I have no answers but I felt heard.  Sigh.

Today’s session was led by Bridget.  I once again used my own earplugs.  It was loud and unfun and it hurt.  Also, Bridget pulled my hair a lot putting on the cap, making my theory that product increases the pain more likely.

See all of my TMS experience posts.

Book of the Session: White Working Class by Joan C. Williams

*Ibuprofen gives me nosebleeds.  This should be fun!