I have completed the first week of TMS treatment. And I am going to be honest: I think I hate it. I hate the noise, even with earplugs. I hate the pain (it’s peak migraine season for me, so I can;t just safely take a daily tylenol). I hate having my eyes water the while time. I hate how it has fucked up my sleep. I hate having my mom drive me to clinic every day. I hate how it’s making me put my life on hold. Furthermore, I’ve been depressed since I was 17. What if I hate who I am without depression?
And I’m frustrated because for the past year, I have tried to be grateful, figuring even if I can’t be hopeful, I can be grateful. And I have great medical care, family, insurance.
I don;t know. Maybe this will pass.